When you were a kid, there's some things that you should have been told, but may not of been - we need to set that right, and fix those foundations of your thinking
It doesn't matter how old you are now, if you're still alive, it's not too late for self development
Let me be the one to tell you:
1) You are loved, and you belong here 💖
It might not always feel like it, but there is a place for you in this world, and you do have people who love you
You need to listen to me when I say this: "You do have a place in this world, and you do matter"
Please hang in there, through the dark times - I promise you, things can change incredibly quickly no matter how bad it seems right now.
Be kind to yourself, and keep your head up
Be under no illusions, none of us make it through this life unscarred or without some inner turmoil - it's a lot to take in, and wrap your head around, this whole, "life" thing
You might look at others and think that they have it all together, or look at peace with it all, but you can't see what lurks underneath
None of us make it through this life solely on our own, we all need others, and we all need help from time to time
Don't be afraid to reach out for help, or admit that you need help - doing so is not weak, it's the complete opposite
Ow, and if you're thinking that there's no-one who loves you 👇
Then you are wrong, because I LOVE YOU
2) The only person you owe anything to, or answer to, is yourself 🪞
When you're on your deathbed, what are you going to wish?
Are you going to wish that you spend more time:
A) working B) with your family and friends C) following your dreams and passions D) experiencing new things E) travelling F) helping others ? G) or, insert your answer here
The key takeaway:
Go and live a life that's actually yours, and that you're proud of - so that if you died tomorrow you'd be able to say "you know what, I had a good go at that"
3) Age is a luxury that's not afforded to all ⌛
No-one guaranteed you this time on the planet, and not everyone gets to your age - so you are lucky, please see ageing as a blessing, not as a curse
You need to realise that you don't know how long you have on this planet
We all just hope that bad things wont happen to us, and hope that we won't die early, but the truth is, it can, and it does - life is not guaranteed
Whilst some people dread getting old, or think that aging is a bad thing - I want you to wear your age with pride, and be grateful and fortunate, because not everyone gets there.
The key takeaway:
Make sure that you're actually living now, and not waiting to live later - try to find some joy every single day, and most importantly, try to appreciate the little things
Every year older you get should be celebrated and you should wear it like a badge of honour
4) You don't have to have it all figured out just yet 💭
I need you to listen to me now:
You need to stop thinking that you should have it all figured out already
It's ok if you don't know what you want from life, or where it's going yet
Life is a marathon, not a sprint - it's not simple, and the right path forward doesn't always become clear straight away
Personally, I only started to work out where I wanted my life to go at 32 years of age - after years of hopelessness and pretty crippling depression
In truth, I'm still piecing it all together, but I'm realising it's a marathon not a sprint, and that I don't need to rush, as long as I'm positively building towards a future me
Follow your passions, try new things and be open to new ideas - work out who you are as a person, and what matters to you
Maybe these are the questions to ask yourself:
What is it that you want to change in the world?
What impact do you want to have?
How do you want to be remembered?
I spent years trying to work this out for myself, and it only started to come together at 32, after years of hopeleness, anxiety and crippling depression - and I really thought it would never happen
So please stop panicking, and just think about those questions above
5) You need to stop caring about what others think or their judgement 👩⚖️
Reality check:
The line between self belief and delusion is often blurry, and, almost always subjective
Most people that you think are judging you, are actually too wrapped up in their own lives to really care about what you do with yours, and the ones who do judge you are often just jealous, or judging your decisions through their narrow view of the world, often based around their own self imposed limitations
All of the people around you are going to die one day, and they won't remember what you did - so why would you worry about what they think?
It might be true that they see the moves you're making as risky, unauthodox or bold, but that's not your problem, it's theirs - taking a shot at something is respectable in it's own right
The key takeaways:
A) Don't allow the thought of being judged, keep you from living the life that you deserve, and that gives you fulfillment
B) People will look at you as delusional for dreaming big, until you realise your dream, at which point they'll call you a visionary
C) It's better to be a little delusional, than to limit yourself unduly
6) You are not defined by your worst day 🙅♂️
We all have flaws, regrets and imperfections but that shouldn't be the thing that defines us
Every night you die - and the next day you're born again a new person
You might have completely screwed up in the past, but that doesn't determine your future
Life is about screwing up, learning from your mistakes, and using them to make you stronger
You can start again, you can make things right, and you can own your mistakes
Draw a line under it, forgive yourself, and give yourself a second chance
Stop dwelling on yesterdays mistakes and instead focus on changing your future path
I believe in you, so maybe it's time to believe in yourself too
Your life is a story, and the end is yet to be written - so focus on ending strong, and not on the start
7) This is your life, and it's time for you to take control, and seek out what you want from it 🕓
Every night you die - and the next day you're born again a new person
You don't have to be the person you were yesterday
You can start again, make things right and move forward with your new life
If you're still alive and on this earth, it's NOT too late to change things
8) You need to realise that life is happening now, not later ⚠️
Life is happening now - whilst it's fine if you want to commit the majority of your time to work and the daily grind - you should know that this is a compromise, and you are sacrificing that very limited commodity that you have: time
Be cognisant that life is happening right now - there's a quote that says: "I am, where my feet are" - don't wander through life, be present and in the moment - try to find joy in the small things each day
There is no second innings - lots of people seem to wait until retirement, with this mucked up notion that they'll do all the things on their bucket list then, such as travelling the world and living out their wildest dreams
The truth is, they a) might not make it there, and b) may not have the mobility to even enjoy or do the things they planned, even if they do
Life is not guaranteed, so understand that life is happening NOW and that you cannot rely on the future
Ask yourself: If I die next year, would I be happy with the things that I've done, and the things that I've experienced?
If not, re-evaluate, stop delaying, and start living your life today
9) You can do ANYTHING in this world 🌍
You can create your own life, and build a life that you choose
You don't have to have it all figured out just yet
Dream big, aim high and be ambitious - you die one day, so what the heck have you got to lose?
Sometimes the person who makes it or lands the dream opportunity is the person who just said "sod it, why not give it a go" and chucked their hat in the ring - don't self limit yourself
You really can do ANYTHING in this world - and you don't have to follow the standard 9-5, if that's not the path you want to take
10) You have to take chances, and fail, in order to succeed and find your passion ❌
There's an important saying that goes like this:
👉 "throw stuff at the wall, and see what sticks"
I used to be that person who was scared of putting new ideas out there, because I worried that others would judge me or think that I'm useless if they didn't work - the truth is, nobody remembers the things that don't work, or the failures..... unless you've designed an aircraft that crashes, man, that would stick with you
Anyway, you get the point - you need to throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks, because it's often this that will steer you in a future direction, uncover cruicial feedback or unlock a talent that you didn't know you had
You have to do things that are uncomfortable - you have to fail, in order to succeed
In fact, failure in many ways, is a success when it comes to this
Here's a final question for you:
If you were at a dinner party, who would you rather have a conversation with?
A) the woman who's travelled the world, started her own random ventures and who's life sounds like an adventure
or
B) The guy who's been in the same corporate job for 30 years, dedicating every hour to his job, at the expense of his social life and family?
Which of these people has lived a life that is their own?
Whilst this question is subjective, I hope it gets you thinking, and that this website helps you to create a life that you are truly proud of, and that you do not regret
Ben x
Want to support me?
If you would like to support the work I do here, that would be an amazing help
Your donation helps me to continue this project, and hopefully help more people
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behaviour or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.